One month in

After a ‘busy’ month of moving to not one, but two hospitals, as the levels of care became lower, we then spent another few weeks concentrating on skin to skin and getting the girls onto the boob. Without family  it would have been impossible – I was unable to drive for 6 weeks because of the surgery. Mum’s and my sister kindly drove me in and waited around all day with me. Yawn fest for them!

Just learning how to handle such tiny babies, manage all the wires and monitors and take them out of their incubators was a mission in itself.

I’ll be honest here-   if I hadn’t needed to take milk in every day and give skin to skin then I could have easily left my little people in hospital. Sorry if that’s upsetting to you, but it’s how I felt at the time. I was shocked that bonding didn’t just happen.  Later I thought that being told at each scan that there was a new worry may have contributed. Guess I was trying not to get too attached to the growing babies. Even when they were born I was scared at how tiny and fragile they were.

Spending every day day at the hospital and every night expressing milk was exhausting.  Despite struggling to bond we were looking forward to getting everyone home as soon as we could, I thought I’d get more sleep when they came home!!!

My husband often referred to this time as being like having a horse in full livery stabling. They were looked after, but they weren’t really ours.

Our older son worried right up til the day we all came home, that night was the first time in months that he slept the full night through.

At last the family was together.

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