Things people say

IMG_7892Well today we all went to pony club, a treat for big brother… he loves having an audience.

We were advised, no fewer than 20 times, that we “have our hands full”. This wasn’t the most popular comment, “I don’t know how you do it” was trotted out, as if on repeat. To which my inner voice shouted everytime, ‘nor do I random stranger, I just get on with it’, whilst saying the same old platitudes, “oh you get used to it” and ” we take it one day at a time”.

But hey at least that day passed with no one telling us that they’d rather be dead than have triplets or that they’d have aborted them. Often folk don’t seem to think before they speak. Although in all honestly I CAN see where they are coming from, it’s not easy. I certainly wouldn’t change it, but nor would I have chosen it. After all I only have two boobs and two hands, once that extra baby is thrown in there it all gets a bit insane!

Mentioning insanity brings to mind some of the other corkers that I’ve heard…

“Were they all born at the same time?”

“Did you have a lot of sex?”

“Do they cry at the same time?”

“Do they sense each other?”

“Do they have the same dad?”

“Were you expecting triplets?”

“Do they run in the family?”

These last two questions seemed completely bizarre to me. Until one day it suddenly clicked that it was a polite way of asking if we’d had IVF, which we were asked more than you’d imagine. Some triplets are an accident of biology, some are an accident of science. Both are natural and amazing occurrences.

I’ve even been told that it must be easier than a singleton, as they entertain each other. To which I replied “No, toddlers really don’t entertain each other”. But the lovely comments are the ones I hold onto, people who tell me how blessed I am, that I am incredibly lucky, what a joy it must be, and of course those who tell me how slim I am! I particularly love those people who tell me I’m far to slim to have triplets.

Often people tell us that their families; 3 under 5, twins and a toddler, 3 dogs 😂, are all the same as having triplets. Whilst I don’t deny that these scenarios all have challenges and are difficult, I would disagree that they are the same. It would be nice if we could all agree that our lives are hard without needing to denigrate others difficulties. I have friends with singletons where I think they definitely find things harder than I do. I’d certainly never say to them that my life is harder than theirs. Our job as mums is to support our children, if we can support other mothers then we should. Being a mum is hard, it’s even harder when we aren’t allowed to find things tough due to our own circumstances.

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